Palestinians Point Out Israel Now Retirement Age

JEREUSALEM  – Immediately after Israel celebrated its 65th anniversary on Tuesday, a number of Palestinian factions issued comments saying “Ooh, and it IS getting up there.” The various press releases went on to say that the Jewish homeland was “Wow, 65? I mean:65! Impressive.”

As world leaders sent their congratulations and synagogues paused for a moment of reflection, several protesters in Tel-Aviv were heard chanting “Or-Lan-Do! Is Quite Nice! Key Kest, Panama – Been There Twice!” At the United Nations, a watch and a shuffleboard set were delivered to the Israeli ambassador’s office.

“All I’m saying is, Benjamin [Netanyahu]’s golf game has really improved,” said Mahmoud Abbas, chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization. “Ooh, yeah – Jerusalem is showing its age.”

Yom Ha’atzmaut, this year falling on April 16, marks Israel’s declaration of independence in 1948. It is held on the Hebrew calendar day of the 5th of Iyar, which is “pretty cool,” Palestinian sources say, “but,” they add, “again?”