Palin, Beck Launch Campaigns for President of Shadow Government

WASHINGTON  – Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and former Fox News host Glenn Beck each launched their 2013 President-in-Waiting campaigns this week at a rally in the nation’s capital. The two Presidential hopefuls were joined by over one hundred people who had gathered in front of the White House to begin what organizers are calling the Second American Revolution to demand that President Obama resign his office.

Reclaim America Now, which organized the event, announced that if he did not relinquish the Presidency by Black Friday (November 29), they would meet in Philadelphia to elect a ‘shadow government.’

“America, I hear your call and I’m ready to stand in your stead as your President once we get rid of that Kenyan over there,” said Palin to the cheering crowd of dozens while pointing towards the White House. “When we gather in Philadelphia, in the great state of Delaware, I will answer the call that I have heard and we will together create a real America from the ashes of the other America that is so great it deserves better!”

“[It’s time] to cleanse the nation of the half-Muslim, anti-white, socialist fraud in the White House before the nation goes under for the final count,” said event organizer and Freedom Watch founder Larry Klayman. “Through the Second American Revolution, we will elect a real President who will be ready to move in to the White House just as soon as we toss out the current occupant and have the place fumigated.”

“In the end [Obama] will feel the force of the American people, just like King George did,” he added to applause.

“Some people will say I shouldn’t be elected Shadow President,” said Beck as he took the stage. “These are the same people who deny that the Founding Fathers were evangelical Christians! Are you going to listen to them? Hell, no! Don’t let somebody else tell you what to do! Vote Beck in 2013!”

Contributing to the convention-like atmosphere was a George Washington impersonator who took the stage to read a revised version of the Declaration of Independence. It demanded, among other things, lower taxes for all U.S. citizens, a physical, original copy of President Obama’s birth certificate, and unqualified support for Israel to launch a preemptive strike against Iran.

“I’m really excited about our slate of amazing Shadow Presidential candidates,” said Klayman. “I’ve even heard that Alan Keyes is considering a run. My only regret is that Ted Cruz is waffling on a bid what with his current gig and all. But we might elect him in absentia anyway.”