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Palin ‘Devastated’ Pope Francis Named ‘Person of the Year’ as ‘He Shows No Signs of Quitting Halfway Through Term Like Benedict’

WASILLA, Alaska.  – Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has condemned Time magazine for selecting Pope Francis as their ‘Person of the Year’, professing her love of his predecessor “not only for his old-fashioned conservative values, but his strength and willingness to walk out of a job before his term was over.”

In an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper, Palin stated that she was dismayed by the choice, and hoped that Time would reconsider. “Any of the other candidates would have been fine, especially as they’re all so relatable to the normal American.”

“Miley Cyrus quit acting as Hannah Montana, Ted Cruz quit his filibuster and Edward Snowden quit America. These are people who are much easier to understand than some stay-in-the-job guy like Pope Francis seems to be.”

In November, Palin said in another interview with Tapper that she was ‘taken aback’ by some of the statements of Pope Francis, which she believed to be ‘kind of liberal’. She later apologized, although today undermined that apology by saying that Francis was the least Catholic Pope in history: “He’s kissed a man with boils, gone out at night in secret to serve the homeless, admitted that he used to be bouncer, and punished a high-spending German bishop. Does that sound like a moral leader to you?”

Palin pointed out that, by contrast, Benedict protected priests who were child molesters and blamed that kind of abuse on society rather than individual and institutional responsibility – that’s the kind of man I expect my Pope to be rather than somebody who washes female Islamic feet.”

Benedict quit in February 2013 – becoming the first Pope in nearly 600 years to do so – while Palin quit her role as governor in July 2009 after being on the losing ticket of the 2008 Presidential Election.

Pope Benedict had said God had told him to resign during a ‘mystical experience,’ and Palin noted that something similar had led to her resignation, adding: “‘Mystical experience’ is my actual nickname for Roger Ailes’s checkbook.”


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