NEW YORK – Former Alaska governor and failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin yesterday said that God created Fox News in order to save America from “vile, evil liberals.” Palin—who makes over $200,000 a year working for Fox—said she believes that Creation “didn’t necessarily stop on that Seventh Day” and that God invented the 24-hour news network “so that He could have His voice heard in America.”
Yesterday, Palin—who has also suggested that the Iraq War and a proposed Alaskan gas pipeline are part of “God’s will”—told Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that “Jesus spoke to [her] and said that we here at Fox are doing His work, fighting back against those liberals, especially over at MSNBC.”
“Every time I appear on Fox News, I know I’m helping to save souls,” Palin said. “Our country is being overrun by those liberals who want to destroy it, so thankfully God intervened and created this network to fight back against them. In a real way, He’s here in the room with us right now, speaking to America through us. And to tell you the truth Chris, He says he’s none too happy.”
Last week, MSNBC host Martin Bashir called Palin a “world class idiot” and suggested that she be forced to eat feces after she publicly equated America’s debt to China with slavery. Bashir has since apologized for his “wholly unacceptable” comments, and yesterday Palin said she has forgiven him.
“Jesus forgives everyone, even murderers,” Palin said. “And since I’m working for Jesus, I figure I have to forgive Bashir, even if he’s an agent of the Devil.”
While accepting Bashir’s apology, Palin expressed worry for “vulnerable” children attacked by the “media elite” who don’t have “that microphone God blessed me to be able to express my opinion.”
“He also blessed me these cameras, and the nice makeup lady in back,” Palin continued. “It’s all part of his Plan.”
UPDATE: God change his mind. Invented Breitbart now.
Wish we had a video of the Anchorage brawl she was involved in so as to discredit this wretched excuse of a person once and for all. I need to point out though that this is a satire site.
The woman is stupid and evil, a dangerous combination.
You have got to be kidding me. I know i have not read the entire bible….but im sure that they didnt put “….and then god created Fox News” anywhere in there.
Dear Lord, please protect me from your followers. Amen
This is satire, right?
I cant believe this delusional fool ever got elected to office. What is wrong with Alaskans?
It has nothing to do with Dems and Reps, Dan. It has to do with this lady being batshit crazy.
An insult to women everywhere…
This coming from Sarah Palin is as valid as god (if there were one) creating Sarah palin as a warning to all humanity
She has got to be one of the most talented comediennes I have ever heard of. Holy crap, she’s funny! No real life, sane person could be so intentionally dense, and make it this far in life. It has to be one, big joke. It has to be…
One more thing Sarah. That wasn’t Jesus whispering in your ear. That was Charles Koch and now he’s laughing at you for being his pawn for a lousy $200,000
So God created the best source of misinformation and lies on television? That sounds about right…
Wow…well at least she finally admits she hears “voices” in her empty head…
People, Newslo is satire. Click the “Show Facts” button at the bottom of the article and it will highlight the parts that are real.
god created sarah palin as a shinning example of just how stupid a person can get and still not be locked up in a mental hospital
The fact that she is able to get this much attention for her dangerous rhetoric is a sad reflection of our country.
That wasn’t a make up lady…it was a contractor with a trowel..you MORON..
Sarah – have you ever read what Jesus said. He’s a liberal
So, Sarah Palin is worshipping Rupert Murdoch?
This is a satire site, people. Jesus.
And gave us Palin as the perfect example of how not to be.
B*tch need to get off the crack pipe
This is fake news people. Fyi
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