Rabidly anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson declared on his radio show last month that if a pastor has a child who is gay, the only proper response is for that pastor to resign. Swanson was responding to an old article written by a former pastor who said that if his children are gay, he’ll love them and “will pray for God to protect them from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at them, simply because of who they are.” Predictably, that did not sit well with Swanson, who infamously declared that if his own son were gay, he’d cover himself in cow manure and wail lamentations.
“There’s more to it than the fact that someone’s child is gay, much more,” he opined. “Most often, someone’s children declaring themselves as gay means that either one of the parents or both of them have committed some sort of sin, some sort of transgression against the good Lord, and that they are being punished by pushing their child into the claws of the wicked plague that has been raging through America. I know it must come as a shock when someone who spends their life leading others through hardships and nurtures their faith is presented with a situation in which their own offspring turns out to be the very Devil they’re trying to slay, but it’s a thing of reality and it’s happening all around us every day.”
He continued, “And when it happens, in my mind a pastor only has two options, regardless of how long he has served God and how many members of His flock he’s kept on the right track. A pastor whose children turn out to be gay can choose between resigning, which is, in my mind, the greater of the two evils, or he has another option. He can choose to bind his children like Abraham did and sacrifice them to prove his faith in God and ask for His forgiveness for his mistakes. Because, our Lord is merciful and he welcomes those who repent and are willing to pay the ultimate price.”
“Because, if you remember from the Bible, God tested Abraham by asking him to bind and then sacrifice his son on a rock to prove his fear and faith. And just as Abraham was about to go through with it, a messenger of God appeared and stopped him from doing it,” the pastor reminded his listeners. “But, what the good book won’t tell you is that Abraham’s son was also gay and that that’s the real reason why God wanted him to sacrifice his boy. The Bible then says that Abraham used a ram instead, but that’s beside the point.”
“I don’t believe pastors with gay children should perform their sacrifice in the vicinity of any rams, cows, bulls or any livestock whatsoever. They need to do it somewhere remote and somewhere where no one will disturb them. Because, here’s the thing: even if they do resign and spend the rest of their lives praying for God to help cure their children, that takes too long and between you and me, isn’t half as reliable as sacrifice. This way, you get it done quickly, grieve what you must and then know that you’ve done your part in containing the plague, at least for a while. The trick is, when enough pastors have done the same thing, God will recognize our will to fight this demonic disease and restore health and faith to our people,” he concluded.