Pastor Wiles: “God Raised Trump To Be The Samson Of Our Times And Keeping His Lovely Hair Should Be The First Priority Of The Secret Service”

Recently on “Trunews,” End Times radio host Rick Wiles declared that the first days of Donald Trump’s presidency have been so successful that they are undoubtedly a sign that God’s blessing is “oozing” onto America. “Friends, listen to me,” he said. “I can’t get out of my mind what Mario Murillo said Monday, ‘Grace is oozing out of Heaven.’ It’s just oozing towards us right now. I’m basking in it. I’m rolling around in it. I’m enjoying it. I keep getting this picture that Donald Trump is like this Samson, who has been raised up by God to fight the Philistines and all the Philistines have now turned their attention away from the church, turned their attention away from attacking Christianity, and all of the Philistines are running to Washington to attack Samson.”

“And that is so incredibly awesome, because that means they’ll stop focusing on the American people and start focusing on someone who can actually handle them and wipe the floor with them,” Wiles also said. “Though, I have to admit that I’m not without concerns. In the history books, Samson’s strength was in his hair. Now, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Donald Trump’s hair is also one of his signature features that makes him instantly recognizable. And that’s exactly why I’m convinced that his lovely, thick head of hair is the source of his might. I mean, the Secret Service should really pay close attention to that thing, they really need to keep it safe. Maybe get Trump a helmet coated with Kevlar or something, I don’t know. But they definitely need to take action.”

Asked to further elaborate on his theory, the End Times radio host argued that the First Lady Melania Trump also poses “a reason for concern.” “You know, I personally don’t have anything against her and I think she’s very attractive and very ladylike. However, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s way more to her than meets the eye. At the end of the day, she’s not a true American in the fullest sense of the word and we’ll never be 100% sure she wasn’t sent by our enemies to cut her husband’s hair off and deprive him of the source of his strength and power. Because, and I’m sure many American men will agree with me, but women can be really nasty sometimes and they do tend to de-masculinize guys all the time. And you know, if he was just a billionaire businessman, nobody could care less. But, because he’s the president, the whole situation could easily become catastrophic.”

“Plus, and I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but there are rumors that the hairstylist who did Trump’s hair for the White House handover ceremony actually swallowed a couple of the hairs off his head by accident. He’s reportedly been hospitalized since because he complained about pain in his genitals immediately after it happened, and doctors found out that his sperm count skyrocketed inexplicably. That’s how much power a single hair off of Donald Trump’s head has. And that’s why God chose him; that’s why he’s exactly what the men and women of this country need,” Wiles concluded.