Pence Says He Avoids Meeting With Women Alone Because “Feminists Are Trying To Seduce Me On A Daily Basis”

In a recent, in-depth Washington Post profile of Karen Pence, Vice President Mike Pence’s wife, a small detail is drawing most of the attention: “In 2002, Mike Pence told The Hill that he never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and that he won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side, either.” In context, this choice is not especially surprising. The Pences are evangelical Christians, and their faith animates both their policy views and how they express their devotion to one another. But, especially in boozy, late-working Washington, the eating thing rankled. Sure, during the day, you can grab coffee instead of a sandwich. But no dinner? Doesn’t that cut an entire gender off from a very powerful person at roughly 8 p.m.?

However, the Vice President, apparently, couldn’t care less. Ever since the Washington Post profile saw the light of day, vice president Pence can’t seem to shake off the topic. Among the many interviews he has participated in over the last couple of days was also one with the Oklahoma Tribune, in which he attempted to defend his position, only to complicate it even more. Namely, the vice president said that feminists were “trying to seduce me on a daily basis,” and stated that as the reason why he is so adamant in maintaining his years-long practice of only dining with his wife. “I’m well aware of the fact that many people tend to take the position of Vice President for granted, but I can assure you that it has its disadvantages, many of which are present daily,” he added.

Asked to reveal more details regarding his troubles with feminists that are, apparently, coming on to him “on a daily basis,” Pence said that the problem in question “doesn’t have to do with just feminists.” “I think the American society is far from perfect, regardless of the fact that many things here are working properly and that this continues to be the greatest country in the world,” he said. “However, I think we’re also aware of the fact that there are some bad things as well, most notably, the way that our women – some of them, not all – tend to behave sometimes. Now, I’m not going to go into the psychology of it all, but the fact to the matter is, our women can sometimes be too seductive, even to the point where they’re borderline abusive.”

“If you’re asking for my personal opinion, I believe it has to do with the way they were wired from the start – I say again, only some women, not all – and the origins of it all can be traced back to Eve and her urge to take a bite from the Apple,” Pence opined. “As a result, women today are trying to seduce men all the time; our women especially so. Luck would have it that the same women who seem to suffer from the excessive activity of the Eve gene – let’s call it that for now – also seem to be feminists. Coincidentally, they also seem to be the only women who are attending dates and lunches with men without a chaperone.”

“Now, call me crazy, but I’m constantly being courted and wooed by these feminists every time I set foot outside the White House, and they don’t seem to care that I’m happily married and that, if we’re being honest, my wife is no pussycat when provoked. That’s the real reason why I try to avoid meeting women alone; part of it has to do with the fact that my integrity and honesty don’t allow it, and part of it has to do with me being concerned for the general health of those women, regardless of the fact they’re feminists. If Karen so much as catches a whiff of any of them, I’m likely to be the last man they’ll ever talk to using their own teeth,” vice president Pence concluded.