Bowen: “Abortions decreased Thanks To People Praying During Intercourse”

The executive director of Iowa Right to Life insisted this week that a dramatic drop in abortions in the state was unrelated to the use of birth control because contraception had a “huge failure rate.” Figures released this month by the Iowa Department of Public Health showed that abortions in Iowa had dropped 40 percent since 2007.

At the same time, birth rates in the state have remained steady, suggesting that the drop was not linked to women choosing to carry their pregnancies to term instead of having abortions. Planned Parenthood spokesperson Penny Dickey told KCCI that abortions began dropping at the same time that more women began using long-term contraception, such as IUDs and hormone implants.

But Jennifer Bowen, the executive director for Iowa Right to Life, asserted to KCCI that abortions were becoming rarer because of an increase in the number and intensity of people’s prayers to not get pregnant, as well as that “Iowans have finally started getting in touch with the man upstairs.”

“Hawkeyes are a strange breed, and proof of that is the fact that as soon as they started praying more frequently and vigorously, the man upstairs started listening,” Bowen asserted. “To be quite honest, I could not be happier right now, because I have been trying to get people to have more faith in religion for ages, and finally it’s working.”

The Iowa Right to Life executive director also stated that “this is just the beginning” and that “more effective and reliable contraception is good, but nothing beats the power of one’s honest thoughts.”

“I can tell you that safer contraception is just the tip of the iceberg,” she said. “We have plans to also start incorporating various other types of prayers in order to start ridding children of different diseases while they’re still in their mothers’ wombs. We also have other plans, but unfortunately this is all I have the authority to divulge at the moment.”

She also added: “It’s long been known that a positive mindset attracts positive events. This is just another confirmation of the fact that you can pretty much do anything you want with your body and get away with it. Essentially, one could even say that prayers have become get-out-of-jail-free cards in terms of unsafe sex. And we’ve only just begun.”