BERKLEY, Calif. – In a surprising move, the linguistics department faculty at UC-Berkley has unanimously decided that political correctness is, in fact, politically incorrect. The faculty statement said that deciding what words could and could not be used was akin to linguistic racism, and that the practice should be abolished. The department also stated that it could not in good consciousness discriminate against words in an effort to promote tolerance.
Some Americans are confused by the UC-Berkley announcement. After years of the government and academia making rulings on common decency, a lot of people do not know what they are allowed to say. 36-year-old plumber Bill Berman told Newslo, “It is clear the n-word is an offensive racial epithet that insults African-Americans and really anyone with a shred of decency, but without bureaucratic bodies telling me how disgusting and hate-riddled the word is, I just don’t know if it’s appropriate to use or not.”
Other Americans are glad to see the institution of political correctness go. Ever since the “flip-chart” was deemed offensive to Filipinos because the verb of flipping somehow offended people from the Pacific island nation, some began questioning if the people making decisions about politically correct words were qualified to work at Dairy Queen, let alone regulate discourse.
Surprisingly the state of Alabama is overwhelmingly incensed to see political correctness become so demonized. Lynyrd Skynyrd fan Bubba Wattson embodied the state’s fear when saying, “I know all the racial slurs against blacks, but without political correctness, how will I learn the bigoted ways to refer to Hispanics and Asians?”