MENLO PARK, Calif. — In a last-minute scramble before the election results came in, millions of Facebook idiots were trying to figure out what to post as a status once the election was over.
Both Twitter and Facebook were overtaken with zingers during all of election season, but now Facebook users are running out of cool things to say. One Facebook user, Neil Nugent, explained the dilemma perfectly in his last Facebook post.
“If I don’t post anything after the election it just looks like I don’t know what I’m talking about, but on the other hand, there’s nothing really to post about anymore,” said Nugent. “What the hell am I going to do?”
Binders full of women, Big Bird and horses and bayonets dominated the Facebook stream for days after each debate.
“I heard Benghazi was still a hot topic,” said Facebook user Melissa Strato, “but I’m not sure whether that’s a place or a person, so I‘m just going to stay away from it.”
A quick search of Facbook posts mentioning Benghazi shows that about 50% of users think it’s a person, 25% think it’s a food and 25% think it’s a city in New York. However, there remains a small percentage of users who still want to talk about Big Bird, and there are even users who plan to bring a random Sesame Street character into the mix.
“I’m going to create the perfect Facebook post,” said Joseph Majorie. “It’s going to incorporate Big Bird, binders full of women, horses and bayonets and Benghazi all into one. Then I’m going make sure I get all the real facts in there and I might even top it off with a little mention of Donald Trump.
“If they gave out Pulitzers for Facebook posts, this would be it,” said Majorie. “It’s going to be epic.”