Rafael Cruz Blames Carly Fiorina For Son Ted Cruz’s “Failure To Become President”

Dallas, TX – Speaking recently at the Texas GOP’s convention, Carly Fiorina announced, “I am endorsing – for Senate, in 2018, Ted Cruz.” The Texas native-turned-Californian tech executive, who Cruz tapped as his unofficial running mate after she was vanquished from the presidential race and before he followed suit, was joined by Rafael Cruz, the Texas senator’s preacher father, in not endorsing Trump at the Freedom, Faith & Fellowship Rally at the state party’s biennial convention in Dallas.

However, when Cruz Senior took the mic, he turned his crosshairs towards Fiorina and unexpectedly started blasting away. “It is said that the true measure of a man is not in him being a victor, but rather in his ability to withstand defeat and come back even stronger. I can say that I am proud of my son Ted no matter what, and you better believe he is coming back guns blazing,” Rafael Cruz started off, followed by applause and whistles of approval.

“However,” he continued, “I can’t say that I am proud of every single choice he has made in the past weeks and months. He has made mistakes, we all have, but the biggest one by far is opting to allow this woman, a failed executive of a once great company, a backdoor shot at her own, selfish goals. He has thus caused his own demise and has deprived himself of what is likely a once in a lifetime opportunity to change the world for the better. When it comes to the presidency, if you blow it the first time, you’re not likely to ever get a second chance. And I’m sad to see that happen to my own blood.”

At this point, eyes were rolling left and right in disbelief across the room, but that didn’t stop Cruz Senior. He went on to say, “It’s all her fault. Hers and hers alone. I will even go so far as to say that if Ted hadn’t named her vice president, he would have likely had Donald Trump beat by now. And not just that – he would have also secured the presidency. But thanks to this woman’s bad influence, all of us will now be forced to watch a destructive force take the helm of a once great nation and drive it right into the dirt. Because Donald Trump is the equivalent of Hitler, only in a more subtle way. And that makes Carly Fiorina the female Goebbels, minus the knack for public speeches.”

“She almost brought down Hewlett-Packard, and now she’s single-handedly flushed America’s future down the drain. When our children and grandchildren ask us why we’re living in the worst country in the world a decade or so from now, be sure to tell them it was her that brought that upon us. Although, at the rate we’re going, I fear she’s not done yet,” Rafael Cruz prophesized.