Donald Trump, the business mogul who set his sights on the American presidency, has recently said that the only way the U.S. will ever be able to solve the problem of illegal immigration permanently is to “re-colonize Mexico and teach those spicks how a country should be run.” During a campaign speech in Florida, the media magnate revealed what he referred to as a “fail-safe and plan B” for solving the problem of Mexican immigrants crossing over illegally to the United States, in case the “Trump Wall,” as he refers to it, should prove insufficient.
“You know what they say about history – it has a way of repeating itself,” the billionaire-turned-presidential-nominee argued. “So, if we’re really serious about getting rid of this issue, and you better believe I am, then the only thing we can really do in the long run is invade Mexico and annex the entire country, kind of like what the Brits and the Portuguese did back in the day. Because, at the rate we’re going now, I’m beginning to wonder if the Trump Wall is going to be enough. I mean, those Mexicans are like cockroaches. When we plug one hole they’re using to come into the country, they just open up another one and it’s back to business as usual.”
Trump, who has been using the so-called “Trump Wall” as a staple of his furious campaign rhetoric, also added, “I’m not sure if human beings can chew through concrete, so I can’t really tell you if the wall is going to be enough to keep them out. Then, on the other hand, Mexicans aren’t human beings, as we very well know,” causing laughter in the audience. “Seriously though, in order to avoid having to deal with this same problem 20 or 30 years from now, why don’t we just get the Marines and a couple Navy Seals down there and just occupy the damn place? It’ll cost us less than fighting them all the time. And besides, it looks like they could use some lessons in governing a country.”
“The Brits did the same thing with a number of countries in the old days, as you all know. I personally love the story about India, I absolutely love what they’ve done with the place. India is today a country whose GDP is among the fastest growing in the world, the entire IT industry is migrating to India from China. And that’s all because of what the Brits taught them. So, I’m thinking, why don’t we do the same with Mexico? We can eliminate drug trafficking, take out the cartels, establish military bases all over the place, and as an added bonus, we’ll be able to completely surround Cuba and add a couple more naval bases for the Ruskies to worry about. In my mind, it’s almost ideal,” Trump argued.
“Besides,” he added, “that’s the only way we’ll get Mexicans to migrate back into their native land. And guess what’s going to happen as soon as they’re all back to where they came from? You got it – but let’s save that for another day (or year, if you know what I mean).”