Home Politics Red States Vow To Stay Red – Literally

Red States Vow To Stay Red – Literally

WITCHITA, Kan. — Ever since President Obama won re-election last week, conservatives have been worrying that changing demographics will continue to turn even dependable “red” states to “blue” ones. But Republican stronghold Kansas is making sure that won’t happen with an unconventional measure – it’s painting the whole state red.

“We are never going blue,” vowed a high-ranking Kansas official who asked to remain anonymous. Wielding a paint brush while painting a cornfield crimson, the official added, “You’ve heard the expression ‘painting the town red?’ Well, we’re painting the entire state red!”

Thousands of volunteers have been branching out to the four corners of Kansas with paint, brushes, crayons, red dye and smocks, in order to give the streets, wheat fields, buildings and highways a scarlet hue.

Kansas is one of a number of states in Middle America that has consistently voted Republican in national and state elections. Democrats have long been puzzled why the state seems to vote against its own interests, so much so that it became the subject of a popular book, “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” by Thomas Frank.

“We had to take a stand,” said Kansas resident Jenny Fenbrook, while coloring individual strands of grass. “After Obama won, a lot of us were ‘seeing red’ so we just decided we’d better keep on seeing it, and here we are.”

Some social scientists have speculated that painting the entire state red will cause even greater anxiety among the state’s inhabitants.

“Red is not a soothing color,” said noted colorologist Carl Wynkoff. “It raises blood-pressure and increases anxiety.”

But that is exactly the point, Fenbrook says. “It keeps us nice and edgy, which puts us in the proper mental state to vote Republican.”

The color change has even resulted in a new slogan on the state’s license plates. It reads: “Kansas: it’s to dye for.”

Must Read

Essay Writing Tips for US Students Studying Abroad

Essays writing is maybe the most common assignment of students’ homework. Almost every teacher and professor in the world requires handling such...

Learn about Some Common Instagram Mistakes that Fashion Brands Must Avoid in 2019 & Beyond

Ever since its inception, Instagram has provided brands and businesses the golden opportunity to effectively connect and engage with their target audience...

Points to remember when looking to overcome drug addiction

In a weak moment, out of curiosity or due to something else, you may have ended up getting addicted to a drug....

Every Serious Driving Enthusiast Should Have Up to Date Insurance

For those who usually owned at least one motorcycle, a pickup truck and a car – sometimes two or three cars –...

4 Tips for Successful Debt Consolidation

Debt consolidation is the buzzword today. Besides refinancing, huge purchases, or taking a mortgage, many online lenders provide an opportunity for customers...
Read previous post:
Jeff Hornacek Shocks NBA, Declares Bankruptcy

SALT LAKE CITY -- Former NBA fan favorite Jeff Hornacek, best known for his long tenure with the Utah Jazz,...

Close