I know, I know. You’ve seen the headlines. You know I’m in a bit of a pickle over here.
Frankly, I’m just as surprised as you are. When I was elected to Congress, I never expected to be indicted for anything, let alone 20 counts of wire and mail fraud, hiring undocumented immigrants, filing false tax returns, and perjury. I just wanted to go to Washington, represent my constituents, and make this country a better, freer place, and maybe make some mullah along the way.
And that’s still all I want, believe it or not.
Now, I know your gut is telling you to throw me out of office (sort of like how I threatened to throw that reporter off a balcony back in January!). As I’ve already said, I believe this indictment is a political witch hunt aimed as taking me down. But let’s just say, for a moment, that the charges are true, and I really did hide a million or so dollars from the IRS (among other things!). Would that really be so bad?
Look at it this way: I represent Staten Island. You ever been here? I can tell you that it’s the wealthiest borough in New York, and here’s a little secret: It didn’t get that way by following all the rules. My district is chock full of tax cheats, embezzlers, money launderers and other men who know that in America, you make your own wealth. Society may deem these men criminals and lock them away. But to me, they’re just regular folks, chasing the American Dream.
And now that I’ve been indicted, I’m more qualified than ever to be the voice of my district in Washington. I, more than most other politicians in New York, know how it feels to be maligned and attacked simply for being who I am.
That’s why I’m still the best man to represent New York’s 11th District, and why I’m still planning on running for a third term. Even if it’s from behind prison walls, I want to be your congressman.
