NewsLo 📊
NewsLo 📊
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics

Republicans to Embrace Socially Conservative Immigrant Population “Despite Brownness”

  • February 22, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON – Republican leaders recently accepted the need to court a rapidly increasing Hispanic population despite the GOP’s deep-seated distrust of “newness in general and brown people of all kinds.” The Republican Party has historically displayed animosity towards “those people” who are generally characterized as “coming in and taking our jobs.” However, after the disappointing election results in November, conservatives have had to take stock and recognize the value of a group of people, “however brown they may be.”

Congressman Paul Ryan has “become hopeful” about the GOP’s potential transition into a party Hispanic voters might remotely consider. “Look, we really didn’t think we were going to have anything in common with these guys. But while these folks may not look like Real Americans on the outside, many of them hold conservative values on the inside. Turns out, the fastest growing voting bloc in America is actually chock full of Catholics and evangelical Christians! All we have to do now is convince them that abortions and gay marriages are way worse than the way we’ve historically treated people of color in general and immigrants in particular, and boom! Back on top.”

While a strategically sound move for continuing the party’s viability, conservative base members in border states like Arizona are strongly resisting the shift. Republican leader and former presidential candidate John McCain faced an angry crowd during a Town Hall meeting this week as his former supporters asked him why they should consider immigration reform and why he was backing off “the dang fence.” McCain responded by explaining in plain terms the rationale behind the abrupt shift on his immigration reform policies: “Look, it’s not like I think Mexicans deserve basic human rights,” the Senator explained. “I’d love for them to get searched on every street corner as much as you would, visa or no visa. But this last election saw a democratic president, gays getting married, and legal pot all over the place. We need to get practical: pandering to an influx of socially conservative, God-fearing immigrants is the only possible course of action that could save our asses.”

Arizona is not alone, however. Republicans have found that convincing the conservative base to shift their stance on immigration has been “slow going nationwide” due to the “rampant racism and xenophobia” for which the party is known. Registered Republican and “End-Times Expert” Jasper Martin explained during a protest outside of the RNC that “Mexicans ain’t gonna save the Grand Old Party. We won’t get bailed out by some goddamn ‘seasonal laborers.’ That’s just offensive.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • immigrant reform
  • immigration reform
  • Marco Rubio immigration
  • news humor and satire
  • Paul Ryan immigration
  • Republican immgiration reform
  • republicans supporting immgration
NewsLo

Previous Article
CIA to Auction off Photos of Bin Laden’s Corpse
  • Politics

CIA to Auction off Photos of Bin Laden’s Corpse

  • February 22, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Kim Kardashian Agrees To Sell Baby to Us Weekly
  • Media

Kim Kardashian Agrees To Sell Baby to Us Weekly

  • February 23, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
fun safety meeting ideas
View Post
  • Politics

Best 4 Fun Safety Meeting Ideas to Engage Everyone on Safety Topics

  • NewsLo
  • March 8, 2020
what do politicians do
View Post
  • Politics

What Do Politicians Do and Where Does Their Money Come From?

  • NewsLo
  • February 29, 2020
ted cruz religion refugees
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”

  • NewsLo
  • August 28, 2017
Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People”
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People”

  • NewsLo
  • July 15, 2017
Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon”
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon”

  • NewsLo
  • July 4, 2017
Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President”
View Post
  • Politics-Feature
  • Politics

Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”
View Post
  • Politics
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Politics-Feature

Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway”
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway”

  • NewsLo
  • June 19, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo 📊
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.