Resourceful Mets Reach Deal for Mariano Rivera

NEW YORK – A teary-eyed Mariano Rivera threw his last pitch at Yankee Stadium Wednesday evening as the New York Mets reached a deal to acquire the future Hall of Fame closer in return for any hope their fans had of future success.

With just two games remaining in the 2013 regular season, Mets’ General Manager Sandy Alderson seized an opportunity to add one more meaningless argument point to the whining Mets fan’s arsenal.

With Matt Harvey’s 2014 campaign in question and R.A. Dickey’s Cy Young award almost one full year behind us, Mets fans were in dire need for something to smile about. Alderson had a hunch the Yankees front office considered Rivera dispensable with just a few more days left on his contract and pounced.

“It’s a bull market out there and we simply didn’t want to lose out,” said Alderson. “Our fans need this.”

Rivera is the all-time leader in saves with 652. Alderson plans to put Rivera on the mound to break his own record—bringing it home to the franchise that could use it most.

The news of the trade brought Rivera to tears as his longtime teammates Andy Pettite and Derek Jeter brought him the news in the bottom of the eighth of Thursday night’s 4-0 loss to Tampa Bay in an extraordinarily romantic New York Yankee T.V. moment.

When asked if he thought he gave up too much for the 43-year-old soon-retired closer, Alderson scoffed. “Hah, have our fans hopes ever been realized? I think we got a steal here.”