Reverend R.G. Green of the Landover Baptist Church is known for calling the female orgasm a “gateway sin” and a “myth.” “Today in our secular society, we find that most women discuss the female orgasm, thinking it is normal. That is just not true! No godly woman should ever experience such a thing. It is a gateway sin!” he posted on his church’s online forum some time ago, causing a firestorm across the Internet. However, it seems that Rev. Green has learned nothing from his past incident. Recently he announced his support to Ted Cruz (R-TX) on the basis of “promising to ban the perversion of female orgasm.”
Green’s endorsement has to do with the fact that Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz defended a Texas ban on the sale of dildos and other sex toys and also made the claim that Americans have no right to masturbate during his tenure as Texas solicitor general. “I can say that there is not a happier man than me in America right now,” Rev. Green said. “I have finally found a presidential candidate who is conservative enough to realize that the earthly pleasures that have been bestowed onto the human race are nothing more than a loan from the Devil himself. A loan which he will most definitely be there to collect. With interest, I might add.”
“The female orgasm is a sin beyond all sins. And that is what Ted Cruz understands. At the same time, science is also on our side. It is scientifically proven that the female orgasm has a biological purpose. And that purpose is not to provide pleasure for the woman, but is to facilitate the movement of sperm through the uterus. Nature and God have seen to it. But, somewhere along the way, we humans took the orgasm for granted and started using it for a selfish reason. We made our women believe that its purpose was to make them feel good and that’s it. And that couldn’t be farther from the truth,” Green also added.
“That is why we need Ted Cruz as President,” the Reverend continued. “He understands the dangers of female orgasm. He has personally promised me he will enact a law that will seek to prohibit any and all types of masturbation for women across the United States, regardless of their age. That includes the sale of sex toys in all of their wicked shapes and forms. And not only that – he has also promised that he will crack down on prostitution as another source of orgasms for women. We need to understand one thing very clearly. The female orgasm is only allowed when a couple is attempting to have a child. Then and only then is it an option. Otherwise, it will soon be illegal and punishable by law. At least I hope so.”
38 comments
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Yeah, but if god had NOT wanted us to have pleasure, she would NOT have given us the clitoris, right? Is this guy saying that god makes mistakes?
This is one sexually confused “little” feller. Hail to the orgasm….lol! God made us this way physically – he wanted us to get our rocks off. Thank you Jeezus!!!!!!!! – love Newslo!
I’m so glad that we have a Republican presidential candidate who advocates NO GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE in our private lives!
Lol. Landover Baptist Church is a fake satirical church. They promoted autotithe. They are connected to Betty Bowers, America’s best Christian.
Surprised? Why? Christianity INVENTED mysogeny.
Clement of Alexandria (Theologian and Greek Father, 2nd century): “Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman…the consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame”
—
Origen (Theologian and Greek Father, 2nd-3rd centuries) “Men should not sit and listen to a woman… even if she says admirable things, or even saintly things, that is of little consequence, since it came from the mouth of a woman.”
Fragments on 1 Corinthians
—
Tertullian (the Father of Latin Christianity, 155-245): ”And do you not know that you are (each) an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the devil’s gateway: you are the unsealer of that (forbidden) tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God’s image, man. On account of your desert— that is, death— even the Son of God had to die. And do you think about adorning yourself over and above your tunics of skins?”
On the Apparel of Women, Chapter 1
—
Chrysostom (Archbishop of Constantinople and Doctor of the Church, 4th century) “God maintained the order of each sex by dividing the business of life into two parts, and assigned the more necessary and beneficial aspects to the man and the less important, inferior matter to the woman.”
—
Jerome (Priest, Theologian, Doctor of the Church and Latin Father, 4th-5th centuries): “Woman is the root of all evil.”
—
Augustine (Bishop of Hippo, Doctor of the Church and Latin Father, 354-430): “I don’t see what sort of help woman was created to provide man with, if one excludes procreation. If woman is not given to man for help in bearing children, for what help could she be? To till the earth together? If help were needed for that, man would have been a better help for man. The same goes for comfort in solitude. How much more pleasure is it for life and conversation when two friends live together than when a man and a woman cohabitate?”
“. . . the woman together with her own husband is the image of God, so that that whole substance may be one image; but when she is referred separately to her quality of help-meet, which regards the woman herself alone, then she is not the image of God; but as regards the man alone, he is the image of God as fully and completely as when the woman too is joined with him in one.”
On the Trinity Book 12 7.10
—
Thomas Aquinas (Doctor of the church, 13th century) As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the active force in the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of woman comes from a defect in the active force or from some material indisposition, or even from some external influence.
Summa Theologica, Vol. I, Q. 92, Art. 2: 489.
—
Martin Luther (German priest, theologian and Protestant Reformer, 16th century) : “The woman certainly differs from the man, for she is weaker in body and intellect. Nevertheless Eve was an excellent creature and equal to Adam in so far as the divine image: that is, righteousness, wisdom and eternal salvation, is concerned. Still, she was only a woman. As the sun is much more glorious than the moon (though also the moon is glorious), so the woman was inferior to the man both in honour and dignity, though she, too, was a very excellent work of God.” From Luther’s Commentary on Genesis.
—
John Calvin (French theologian, pastor and Protestant Reformer, 1509-1564), of the first post-resurrection appearance of Jesus to women rather than to men: “I consider this was done by way of reproach, because they [the men] had been so tardy and sluggish to believe. And indeed, they deserve not only to have women for their teachers, but even oxen and asses. . . Yet it pleased the Lord, by means of those weak and contemptible vessels, to give display of his power.” From Calvin’s Commentary on the Gospel of John.
On this account, all women are born that they may acknowledge themselves as inferior in consequence to the superiority of the male sex. From Calvin’s Commentary on 1 Corinthians (Chapter 11)
—
John Knox (Scottish clergyman and Protestant Reformer, 16th century: “[Women are] weake, fraile, impatient, feeble and foolish.”
He also said women were “unconstant, variable, cruel and lacking the spirit of counsel and regiment” and “woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man.” From his The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women.
It was the male orgasm that created those racist idiots. That is what needs to be banned down South. they inbreed down there.
From Wikipedia” “The Landover Baptist Church is a satirical parody website based around a fake fundamentalist Baptist church. The church is a parody of fundamentalist, Independent Baptist churches and Biblical literalism, and originated as a satire of Liberty University.” I checked it out. Very funny, but not something I’d care to waste much time reading.
Cruz and this idiot Reverend should consider converting to radical Islam.
LMAO The Landover Baptist Church is a satirical web site.
That’s that only time I saygod…… God oh god oh my god gawwwwwd.
This guy, and Cruz need to be thrown into a dark cold pit, and remain there until they rot.
It’s gotta suck to be this insecure.
This might very well be redundant but I hope all that are commenting realize this is satire
Is his next step enforced female genital mutilation?
take away my sex toys, over my warm, vibrating fingers…..
Yeah, but if god had NOT wanted us to have pleasure, she would NOT have given us the clitoris, right? Is this guy saying that god makes mistakes?
This is one sexually confused “little” feller. Hail to the orgasm….lol! God made us this way physically – he wanted us to get our rocks off. Thank you Jeezus!!!!!!!! – love Newslo!
I’m so glad that we have a Republican presidential candidate who advocates NO GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE in our private lives!
Lol. Landover Baptist Church is a fake satirical church. They promoted autotithe. They are connected to Betty Bowers, America’s best Christian.
Surprised? Why? Christianity INVENTED mysogeny.
Clement of Alexandria (Theologian and Greek Father, 2nd century): “Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman…the consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame”
—
Origen (Theologian and Greek Father, 2nd-3rd centuries) “Men should not sit and listen to a woman… even if she says admirable things, or even saintly things, that is of little consequence, since it came from the mouth of a woman.”
Fragments on 1 Corinthians
—
Tertullian (the Father of Latin Christianity, 155-245): ”And do you not know that you are (each) an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the devil’s gateway: you are the unsealer of that (forbidden) tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God’s image, man. On account of your desert— that is, death— even the Son of God had to die. And do you think about adorning yourself over and above your tunics of skins?”
On the Apparel of Women, Chapter 1
—
Chrysostom (Archbishop of Constantinople and Doctor of the Church, 4th century) “God maintained the order of each sex by dividing the business of life into two parts, and assigned the more necessary and beneficial aspects to the man and the less important, inferior matter to the woman.”
—
Jerome (Priest, Theologian, Doctor of the Church and Latin Father, 4th-5th centuries): “Woman is the root of all evil.”
—
Augustine (Bishop of Hippo, Doctor of the Church and Latin Father, 354-430): “I don’t see what sort of help woman was created to provide man with, if one excludes procreation. If woman is not given to man for help in bearing children, for what help could she be? To till the earth together? If help were needed for that, man would have been a better help for man. The same goes for comfort in solitude. How much more pleasure is it for life and conversation when two friends live together than when a man and a woman cohabitate?”
“. . . the woman together with her own husband is the image of God, so that that whole substance may be one image; but when she is referred separately to her quality of help-meet, which regards the woman herself alone, then she is not the image of God; but as regards the man alone, he is the image of God as fully and completely as when the woman too is joined with him in one.”
On the Trinity Book 12 7.10
—
Thomas Aquinas (Doctor of the church, 13th century) As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the active force in the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of woman comes from a defect in the active force or from some material indisposition, or even from some external influence.
Summa Theologica, Vol. I, Q. 92, Art. 2: 489.
—
Martin Luther (German priest, theologian and Protestant Reformer, 16th century) : “The woman certainly differs from the man, for she is weaker in body and intellect. Nevertheless Eve was an excellent creature and equal to Adam in so far as the divine image: that is, righteousness, wisdom and eternal salvation, is concerned. Still, she was only a woman. As the sun is much more glorious than the moon (though also the moon is glorious), so the woman was inferior to the man both in honour and dignity, though she, too, was a very excellent work of God.” From Luther’s Commentary on Genesis.
—
John Calvin (French theologian, pastor and Protestant Reformer, 1509-1564), of the first post-resurrection appearance of Jesus to women rather than to men: “I consider this was done by way of reproach, because they [the men] had been so tardy and sluggish to believe. And indeed, they deserve not only to have women for their teachers, but even oxen and asses. . . Yet it pleased the Lord, by means of those weak and contemptible vessels, to give display of his power.” From Calvin’s Commentary on the Gospel of John.
On this account, all women are born that they may acknowledge themselves as inferior in consequence to the superiority of the male sex. From Calvin’s Commentary on 1 Corinthians (Chapter 11)
—
John Knox (Scottish clergyman and Protestant Reformer, 16th century: “[Women are] weake, fraile, impatient, feeble and foolish.”
He also said women were “unconstant, variable, cruel and lacking the spirit of counsel and regiment” and “woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man.” From his The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women.
It was the male orgasm that created those racist idiots. That is what needs to be banned down South. they inbreed down there.
From Wikipedia” “The Landover Baptist Church is a satirical parody website based around a fake fundamentalist Baptist church. The church is a parody of fundamentalist, Independent Baptist churches and Biblical literalism, and originated as a satire of Liberty University.” I checked it out. Very funny, but not something I’d care to waste much time reading.
Yet another reason we cannot elect Cruz as President and Texas voters should wake up and dump him from the Senate. These guys are Looney tunes.
Yet another reason we cannot elect Cruz as President and Texas voters should wake up and dump him from the Senate. These guys are Looney tunes.
Cruz and this idiot Reverend should consider converting to radical Islam.
LMAO The Landover Baptist Church is a satirical web site.
That’s that only time I saygod…… God oh god oh my god gawwwwwd.
This guy, and Cruz need to be thrown into a dark cold pit, and remain there until they rot.
wow, that is one crazy bastard!
wow, that is one crazy bastard!
It’s gotta suck to be this insecure.
This might very well be redundant but I hope all that are commenting realize this is satire
Is his next step enforced female genital mutilation?
take away my sex toys, over my warm, vibrating fingers…..
Human garbage.
Human garbage.
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