Rex Ryan Tells Press That Jets Will Stick with Losing

EAST RUTHERSFORD, N.J. — During a press conference addressing the Jets’ ineffectiveness in their past few games, as well as their plan of attack for Sunday’s game against the Dolphins, Head Coach Rex Ryan assured the press that their game plan and approach would not waiver as the team moves forward. 

“Every week, it’s the same bunch of questions with you guys,” Ryan said. “‘Who’s going to play quarterback?’ ‘What are you going to do about the receivers, the offensive line, the declining defense?’ It’s driving me up the wall. We’re going to stick with losing – Mark [Sanchez] is going to get another start.”

Ryan held his ground, saying that until Sanchez starts to show some improvement, he’ll be the top choice for the Jets since “he’s been giving us the best shot at losing – and he’s been doing a great job so far.” He added that Tim Tebow will always be waiting in the wings to throw wild passes and lead some ineffective running plays. 

“Still, with our soft offensive line, shitty corps of receivers and sub-par group of running backs, the job is practically done for our QB’s as it is,” he said.

Ryan said that although there was a hiccup in the Jets’ blowout win over the Bills, their general game plan that he refuses to change has worked ever since, grabbing three decisive losses and a fluke victory ever since. 

“The Jets come from a tradition of losing, and I just have to thank our front office for making my job easy, giving me the personnel in all facets of the game to really start to drive this franchise into the toilet, the same way it was in the mid-1990s.”