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Rick Santorum On 2016: “Why Not? I’m More Responsible And Better-Looking Than Obama”

  • December 10, 2014
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““I finally get the game”, says Rick Santorum, the former governor of Pennsylvania and the Republicans’ no. #2 guy when it comes to both the 2012 and, apparently, the 2016 presidential election.

“While Santorum was forced to build his operation from ground up in 2012, the current situation is very different. He now has a grass-roots operation called Patriot Voices, which boasts more than 150,000 activists nationwide.

“Santorum strategist John Brabender says that “30,000 new e-mail relationships” were generated in the operation’s current push, which is an online petition drive to oppose President Obama’s recent executive action on immigration.

“The main message of his campaign is undergoing an overhaul, as Santorum hopes to appeal beyond his socially conservative base, which is to say that he aims to reach mainly blue-collar voters who are being left behind in the economy.

“He also promises to take a tougher line on immigration than many other Republicans do: “I take the approach that immigration policy in America ought to be about Americans. The principal focus of immigration policy is not about the rest of the world; it’s about us”, he said recently.

However, it would appear that the former Governor of Pennsylvania’s confidence is also on the rise, as he states that one of the main reasons for his new-old campaign is the fact that, in his opinion, good looks adorn him more than the current President.

“Many people ask me why I’ve decided to run again. To be perfectly honest, I see myself as more responsible, smarter and generally better looking than Obama, and no one likes an ugly president. Plus, there’s the fact that neither one of us has done anything significant during the past 8 years. So, I sat down one day, thought about it all and just figured why the heck not?”, he said to Newslo.

He concluded by saying: “I mean, let’s face it – this country’s like a cow with a terminal illness; I might as well get some milk for myself before the old girl croaks.”

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1 comment
  1. Marc Mielke says:
    December 13, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    “I mean, let’s face it – this country’s like a cow with a terminal illness; I might as well get some milk for myself before the old girl croaks.”

    Just like it says in the Bible, book of Douchebags 3:13.

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