Televangelist Pat Robertson started “The 700 Club” recently by insisting that the American Health Care Act, the GOP-written bill meant to replace Obamacare, “is going to pass” and “they’re going to give Trump a victory.” “It’s going to go through the Senate, and we’re all going to rejoice that we’re going to pay less on healthcare,” he said, even though most people would see their premiums skyrocket if the bill did manage to pass. Robertson said that he knew that “the Lord was going to give Trump victory” and that God is working through Trump to do amazing things.
“In all his infinite wisdom, the Lord is great and all-forgiving,” the televangelist continued his usual religious rant. “He teaches us through his Holy Book that we should turn the other cheek and always seek forgiveness for ourselves and others, both our friends and especially our enemies. However, I would argue – at the risk of offending God – that he tends to ignore his own commandments every now and then. Therefore, an important question must be asked: should we, as well, occasionally follow in the same path and smite our enemies with furious anger?”
But, pretty soon, the rant came to an all too familiar punch line. “The scope of God’s punishments might differ from one situation to another, but I think we’re all in agreement that, if anyone, the Democrats deserve to be on the receiving end of God’s fury now more than ever,” he opined. “There are a number of reasons for that, but the latest protests and disagreements with Trumpcare, which I think we can safely refer to as God’s health care plan for America, are by far the most punishable ones. We’ve done a lot of bad in this country, predominantly during the reign of Democratic presidents, but that is no excuse. I believe all Americans must share the blame equally, because failure to act in order to prevent evil as just as bad as committing it firsthand.”
He also said, “Therefore, my fellow Americans, mark my words and mark them well: God will punish the Democrats for disagreeing with his health plan, with his act of mercy orchestrated through the actions of our president Donald Trump. God has never abandoned Americans, not even in times of greatest despair and hopelessness, including countless wars, death, famine and natural disasters, and he isn’t going to start now. We have survived this long as the single greatest nation under God’s sky and by Him and His name, we will continue to survive for many years.”
“On the other hand, as for the punishment He will inflict on the Democrats, I will not go into that right now, because it is ungrateful to speculate as to how his judgment will manifest itself. I suppose it would be alright, since we men are creatures of low instincts and urges, to make bets on how exactly God will choose to teach a lesson to those stupid enough to oppose a system as pure and altruistic as Trumpcare. But, that would only be acceptable if the proceeds from wagers lost are directed towards easing the suffering of those who will endure God’s terrible judgment. I guess they’ll just have to learn their lesson the hard way,” Robertson concluded.