DENVER, CO — With this year’s first presidential debate on the horizon, both campaigns have sequestered their candidates and are keeping preparations under lock and key. Republican challenger Mitt Romney is rumored to be spending the entire week standing in front of different backdrops to perfect his unparalleled ability to adapt to the room. In the past, Romney has only changed his political leanings to match his environment, but after the success of his constantly evolving platform, Romney is now taking things a bit more literally. The Romney camp spent Monday and Tuesday placing Mitt in front of backdrops ranging from brick walls, to jungle trees, to city skylines to prepare Mitt for the rapid fire policy-changes he will need to make to win over the crowd.
The Romney campaign does not want a repeat of last week’s embarrassing interview with Univision, in which audience members and media outlets immediately recognized that Romney had darkened his skin for the affair.
“Mitt just figured he would blend into the largely Hispanic audience by going bronze,” said campaign adviser Mike Sullivan.
“I can’t let that happen again,” confided Romney. “The radical changes in my platform and appearance need to be unnoticeable if we’re going to win this thing.”