NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Blogs

Sanctions with Ahmadinejad

  • November 12, 2012
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

You silly, silly white people.

You thought your little Mittens would become the next president, call up Benny “I Once Slept With a Transsexual Prostitute Who Stank of Pork” Netanyahu, and launch a fleet of Israeli nukes at me?

It’s not that I didn’t want Rom-com to win — on a personal and not a political level of course. (Side-note: “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason” was just released in Iran…is it the kind of movie where I have to see the original one first?)  Sure, he’d probably have me invaded, but at least he wouldn’t embargo Oreos to my country.  Sure, he’d probably eat me alive if it convinced Americans that he was “tough” and not “a weird (Scientologist?) robot,” but after my 437th Obama-fueled U.N. sanction, I mean, hey, am I that against something new?

But of course, my biggest concern is Benny, and nothing pleases me more (perhaps Oreos) than knowing he will have to continue to bend over in the way that “homosexuals” do (I’m told) for President Obummer for the next four years.  Four more years of Israeli frustration and Netanyahu’s squirming, neutered face turning red?  Sweeter than Oreos!  (I’m really craving Oreos.)

So thank you, white America.  You tried valiantly to vote your bigoted, insane, creepy and uninformed man into power, you failed, and now you’ve opened the doors for me — equally bigoted, insane, creepy and uninformed — to waltz right into my new nuclear facility in [redacted].

In my most recent journey to America I was acquainted with a young harlot by the name of Honey Boo Boo.  As the wench would say: “Redneckignize,” America.

Peace, love, and Bridget Jones to all,

Mahmoud

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • homosexuals
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Israel
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's American blog
  • scientology
  • transsexuals
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • Sports

Phil Jackson Having a Blast Toying with Desperate Lakers

  • November 11, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • Blogs

Sarah Palin’s Dirty Secret: Did She Actually Vote for Barack Obama?

  • November 12, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.