WASILLA, Alaska — Rebuking critics who have called the development “another remarkable sign of changing environmental conditions”, former governor Sarah Palin insisted today that the 35,000 Walruses who have migrated to Alaska amidst falling ice levels have come for the state’s right to work law.
According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, more than 35,000 walruses have sprawled out on a beach outside of Point Lay in northwest Alaska. According to the NOAA, the walruses have been forced onto land because sea ice is disappearing.
“These walruses are just the latest demographic which has voted with its feet—or fins [sic] as the case may be—in order to join a right-to-work state,” Palin declared on her subscription-based web channel Thursday. “It’s not surprising that these sea creatures wanted higher prospects of economic growth without nanny-state interference.”
“It may even be the case that these walruses have come looking to sign on with an Alaskan wilderness reality program,” the former vice-presidential candidate offered. “Don’t listen to the alarmists who insist that these majestic creatures are here because of global warming—as if walruses even know who Leonardo DiCaprio is!”
“Bottom line, this is the result when conservative economics are put into practice. Even a marsupial [sic] can see the benefits of right-to-work laws, and that’s why Americans and non-humans of every stripe are choosing conservative states like Alaska.”
According to sources, Alaska does not currently have a right-to-work law.