WASILLA, Alaska — Rumors are surfacing that Sarah Palin is secretly ecstatic about President Obama’s reelection, since it opens up great businesses opportunities for her. Watching Sarah Palin is like watching a low budget horror movie. The script is terrible and the acting is terrible, but it’s got just the right amount of eeriness to scare you. Personally, America just can’t wait to see a slew of new Sarah Palin books. Maybe she’ll write one called “Surviving Socialism” or “Palin Power: The Story of a White Freedom Fighter.” Americans can barely conceal their excitement about her new endeavors.
Fox News viewers should actually be excited that Obama was reelected. If Obama wasn’t president, then who would be Fox News and Sarah Palin’s villain? Wouldn’t Fox News be boring if they couldn’t fight against Obama and uncover his secret plans? Just think about how much excitement Obama has brought to television. From the drama of “his fake birth certificate,” to the horrifying episode when Obama “might have been a secret Muslim.” The Obama administration has been great fodder for all of the extremist neo-conservative entertainers. The thought of only having 4 more years of the Anti-Obama show is just unfair for its loyal viewers.
Since Obama took office, Fox News’s ratings have never been higher and more stable. Palin, as a commentator for the cable news network, is excited because another 4 years of Obama as president means more airtime, higher ratings, and so many new lies. I wonder what Sarah Palin might come up with. Is Obama secretly a convicted felon? Is Obama secretly a nuclear devise that’s controlled by the Iranians? While we don’t know what the next string of assumptions will be, Newslo is not afraid to start our own conspiracies. While we have absolutely no evidence to back it up, we here at News Make Up are wondering, “did Sarah Palin secretly vote for Obama?” If not, then Palin should her ballot to the American People!