Saudi Princess Proves Women Can Be Just as Horrible as Men

IRVINE, Calif. — In a move that has struck a blow for gender equality in all corners of the Earth, Saudi Princess Meshael Alayban has been arrested for human trafficking – proving that, even in the ultra-conservative House of Saud, a woman can be every bit as callous and terrible as a man.

The victim alleges that she was lured from her native Kenya with a promise of employment, only to be held in virtual domestic slavery.  Except for times of travel, her passport was withheld from her, and she was forced to cook and clean for long hours and paltry wages at the princess’s homes in Saudi Arabia and at an apartment complex in Irvine, CA. – until she escaped and went to the authorities

None other than feminist icon Gloria Steinem had praise for Alayban, noting that while women have certainly made important strides in the last few decades, cruelty and inhumanity were areas in which there was still a significant “empathy gap.”

“We’ve been focused on the glass ceiling for so long that we forget to break the glass floor,” said Steinem.  “It’s high time we show that women are just as capable of reaching abhorrent depths as any man.”

When informed that Alayban’s victim was also female, Steinem remarked that “in the struggle for equality, some sisters are going to have to sacrifice.”

Caitlyn Chambers of Women Empowered & Equally Depraved – a student group for “female sociopaths  and psychopaths” at Barnard College, points out that lack of outrage over the incident proves women still have a long ways to go. “Saudi men have been using the same lazy, trite, patriarchal tactics to crush the human spirit for centuries now,” said Chambers.  “What do they get?  A spot on the short list as one on the UN’s most repressive governments in the world.  A Saudi woman smuggles a de facto slave across international borders and there is hardly even a blip from the media.  It goes to show that a woman still has to treat someone twice as horribly to get half the attention.”

At her bail hearing, Alayban’s defense attorneys argued that this was a simple domestic work hours dispute when the latter-day Susan B. Anthony stood up for all woman-kind when she told the judge, “I don’t see what the big deal is.  I mistreated a maid – not a person.”

In Riyadh, King Abdullah is reportedly “very impressed” with the Princess’ complete lack of common decency, but still believes that women will “never be equal to men until they have penises.”