White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer asserted on Tuesday that Adolf Hitler had never used “chemical weapons.” During Tuesday’s White House press conference about Russia’s support of Syria, Spicer was asked why the White House expected Russian President Vladimir Putin to drop support for Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. “Someone as despicable as Hitler didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons,” Spicer said. “You have to ask yourself if you are Russia, is that a country and a regime you want to align yourself with?” Later in the briefing, Spicer was given a chance to correct the record about Hitler’s use of deadly gas on Jews in concentration camps. “He was not using his gas on his own people the same way Assad was,” the press secretary explained.

“And to put that into perspective,” Spicer continued, “we’re talking here about the single greatest and most feared mass murderer of the 20th century by far. As a matter of fact, if you were to open a dictionary and look up under ‘monster’ and ‘psychopath,’ you’d find a picture of Adolf Hitler right up there alongside Hannibal Lector. And in case you’re wondering – yes, I’m well aware of the fact that Hannibal Lector is a fictional movie character, but I’m sure you’ll understand that he’s the only one scary and morbid enough I could think of to make the reference. And even then, I mean, come on people, compared to what Adolf Hitler did, Lector is like a ballerina.”

However, since the criticism from everyone present at the conference wasn’t showing any signs of dying down whatsoever, the press secretary went on the defensive. “By the way, I really don’t understand why everybody’s getting so upset about the gas chamber reference, I was only trying to make a point,” he said. “I mean, I was talking about a historical fact – a terrible and despicable one, but something that’s historically accurate regardless. What’s more, compared to all the other methods the Nazis devised to torture and execute Jews during the war, the gas chambers were such a minute part. There’s really no reason to react in such a way. It’s not like I told a lie, I just used history as a means to make a point.”

“But, make no mistake – Assad is worse than Adolf Hitler in that regard,” Spicer argued. “Assad had the guts to use much more severe chemical weapons on his own people, he couldn’t care less about the fact that those were his own countrymen. At least Adolf Hitler had the decency and common sense to target only Jews and make sure no Nazi ever saw the inside of a gas chamber. I’m not going to go so far as to say that Adolf Hitler was a man of principles or integrity, but at least the guy knew what he was going for and how to get it. At the end of the day, the fact that he used gas speaks of his practicality more than it does of his cruelty. Similarly, if Assad had used his chemical weapon against the rebels, we’d be having a different conversation altogether right about now. But, that’s not the case.”

“World War II lasted for almost 6 full years and during that time, countless atrocities were committed by the Nazis. However, the one thing they never did was target their own race. President Assad, however, did. Whether or not that makes him equal or worse than Hitler is not up for debate. In other words, the point here is not what was done, but rather, whom it was done to. And if you look at things that way, it’s pretty obvious that it’s high time for a change. Dictionaries need to remove pictures of Lector and Hitler and put a picture of Assad under ‘psychopath.’ I guess that each century does, indeed, have both its heroes and monsters,” Spicer concluded.