NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Blogs

Sheldon Adelson: Hagel Would Make Us All a Bunch of Losers

  • February 5, 2013
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

Dear Friends,

On Thursday Chuck Hagel appeared before the Senate Armed Services Committee. He appears to have survived it—despite a much-deserved thrashing from the definitely not senile, uber-patriot John McCain—and is one step closer to becoming the next Secretary of Defense.

This fact should make Americans pee in their pants a little. And not from excitement. This is fear-pee I’m talking about—that warm, wet feeling that warns of Immediate Danger Ahead.

Here is why: Chuck Hagel is a loser. Not the kind of loser who seems to so insistently beg for swirlies that even his grandmother can’t resist dunking his head in a john (well, he is that kind of loser, but that’s beside the point). Chuck Hagel is the more literal and insidious kind of loser—the kind whose very presence dooms even the most destined of ventures.

To wit: The former Senator served in Vietnam—honorably, according to the lame stream media. You might think that we should therefore lavish him with praise, and declare him an unequivocal winner.

But think again: Didn’t we lose that war? Are we really supposed to believe that we just happened to fail miserably in that noble campaign, wasting tens of thousands of lives, billions of dollars and more than a decade? I think not. It’s easy enough to put two and two together.

Chuck Hagel served in Vietnam. In Vietnam, America—the most badass country ever conceived by God—got spanked like Nuwanda in Dead Poet’s Society. Q.E.D.

Let me address Mr. Hagel directly: The burden is on you, sir, to prove to the American public that you did not single-handedly lose the Vietnam War, and that your leadership at the Department of Defense would not turn America into the Screech of the world, surrounded by packs of spit-ball shooting, time-stopping Zack Morrises.

Any Senator who votes for the confirmation of Chuck Hagel is voting for perpetual defeat. They’re voting for the triumph of pussies over patriots. They’re voting to make us all a bunch losers.

Sincerely,

Sheldon Adelson

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Chuck Hagel
  • Chuck Hagel confirmation hearing
  • Hagel problems
  • humor and satire
  • Sheldon Adelson
  • Sheldon Adelson Chuck Hagel
  • Sheldon Adelson on Chuck Hagel
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • Blogs

The Super Bowl as Viewed by Some Girl Whose Boyfriend Made Her Watch It

  • February 4, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • New York

NYPD to Begin Invading People’s Privacy from a Safe Distance

  • February 5, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.