South Carolina to Allow Guns in Nursery Schools

COLUMBIA, S.C. – Immediately after South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley signed a law allowing concealed weapons in bars, restaurants, and other establishments that serve alcohol, the Republican governor added her signature to a bill allowing the open display and carrying of lethal firearms within the State’s pre-schools, nursery schools, and daycare facilities.

“For too long have our youngest South Carolinians been denied the protection of a firearm in the place where they spend some of the most critical times of their lives,” said Governor Haley. “Now parents can be comforted by the sight of a loaded handgun in plain sight when they drop off their most precious cargo for the day.”

Like the law allowing guns in bars, this new law still allows individual business owners to ban weapons from their premises, as long as they post a large sign in plain sight announcing customers of their policy. “Though I can’t imagine why any sane daycare provider would want to advertise that there were no guns on the premises,” admitted Haley. “That’s just asking to be robbed.”

Erin Dando, leader of the South Carolina chapter of the advocacy group Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America was outraged. “Oh great idea,” she said sarcastically. “Let’s just leave loaded guns lying around places where toddlers roam, crawl, explore, and tend to pick things up in their hands simply because they are shiny. I can’t imagine anything could possibly go wrong. Idiots.”

South Carolina’s two pro-gun laws could soon be joined by others granting even more freedom for gun rights activists. At the signing ceremony, Governor Haley announced that she supports another bill currently under consideration by lawmakers that would completely eliminate all permitting, fees and training requirements for carrying weapons.

“You don’t need a permit or the proper training to walk down the street and chew gum,” she said. “Why should you need them to carry a gun?”

The Republican-controlled legislature is also considering a bill which would grant all guns the right to vote.