Donald Sterling Appeals to Make-A-Wish Foundation to Retain Ownership of Clippers

LOS ANGELES – Disgraced owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, Donald Sterling, has made it clear that he intends to use every tool at his disposal to maintain ownership of the team, including his prostate cancer.

“I know that folks are a little peeved at me right now,” said the 80 year old Sterling from his bed, surrounded by flowers and “Get Well Soon!” mylar balloons. “I just hope that people can see past this and help make one poor, dying man’s dream come true. To still be owner of the basketball team he loves.”

Sterling made headlines over the weekend when a phone message to his girlfriend in which he made racist comments was released to the media. The message sparked outrage and prompted NBA commissioner, Adam Silver, to impose on Sterling a lifetime ban from the league and a $2.5 million fine, as well as promise to do everything he can to encourage the Board of Governors to force a sale of the team. Sterling made the papers again last night after it was revealed that he has been battling prostate cancer for some time now.

Sterling has shown no intention to cooperate with his ban, and plans to sue the NBA if the other owners force him to sell the team. This could result in a lengthy legal battle that could tie up ownership of the team for years. But the shrewd businessman is not going to place all his eggs in the litigation basket. He has made it obvious that he will not go down without a fight, and is willing to stoop so low as to use his cancer to garner support for his cause.

Now, sources are reporting that Sterling has reached out to the Make-A-Wish Foundation in hopes that they can help him retain ownership of the Clippers. The foundation, which normally only works with children suffering from life threatening illness, initially refused Sterling’s request. However, after receiving an anonymous donation for a large sum of cash they have reversed their decision.

“We try to take every wish we get seriously. We are an organization that is dedicated to making dreams come true.” Said CEO, David Williams. “While as of now it remains unseen how exactly we can help make Mr. Sterling’s wish come true, we are going to do everything we can. For now, we have arranged for pro wrestling superstar, John Cena, to pay him a visit. He seems very excited.”

The Clippers face the Golden State Warriors tomorrow night for game 7 of the first round of the Western Conference Playoffs, though it is apparent that most of the team’s drama will remain off the court for the foreseeable future.