Fox Names Stuart Varney Climate Change Hero for ‘Global Cooling’ Theory

NEW YORK – Stuart Varney, host of “Varney & Co.” on the Fox Business Network, has been named a Climate Change Hero for 2014. The distinction was awarded to Varney by Fox News on Sunday in recognition of his “ground breaking ‘Global Cooling’ Theory,” which posits that traditional climate change science is a “hoax” and that the Earth is actually cooling.

Varney, 64, has spent most of his career working as an economic journalist, but has dabbled in amateur climate change science over the last decade. Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox parent company News Corporation, said that, even though he possesses no scientific training, Varney uses his “exceptional powers of observation to look through the so-called ‘science’ and see the world as it truly is.”

In the past, Varney has used his microphone at Fox Business to challenge accepted climate change science, which argues that human action since the Industrial Revolution has caused the Earth’s temperature to rise. Varney’s own theory points to recent bouts of unusually cold weather to demonstrate that the Earth is actually cooling down.

Last Tuesday, Varney declared that his “Global Cooling” theory had finally been proven correct after a research ship became stuck in ice near Antarctica. “Attempts to rescue the passengers using ice breaker ships failed. Rescuers finally got through using a whopping, great big helicopter that was landing on the supposedly, very thin ice,” Varney said. “So, it looks to me like we are looking at global cooling.”

“This is a total game-changer,” said Charles Payne, Varney’s co-host. “When I saw that ship stuck in ice, I thought, ‘My God—Stuart’s been right all along! The Earth is getting colder!’ That’s when I knew he should be recognized for his amazing insight.”

Fox News executives agreed with Payne, and decided to name Varney the network’s first-ever Climate Change Hero.

Mainstream climate scientists are calling the award “hogwash” and “just about the dumbest thing ever created,” but Varney says he’s proud of his accomplishments.

“Now that my theory has been recognized with this prestigious award, I hope it will start convincing the 69% percent of Americans who still believe the Earth is warming to rethink their views,” Varney said. “Once the public is on our side, we can start building more coal power plants and finally begin warming this chilly planet up again.”