WASHINGTON — While the rest of the country remains divided over President Obama’s Affordable Care Act and the government shutdown prompted by its implementation, 87-year-old grandmother Florence Little is one of many suicidal Americans who are thrilled that Obamacare’s “death panels” are finally open for business.
“I have a little shutdown of my own planned,” said Little, who claims she’s been trying to convince her four children and nine grandchildren to let her die “since after the first season of Dancing With the Stars ended” in 2005.
Little recalled the first time she had hope of dying was in 2009, “when Sarah Palin announced that Obamacare would allow doctors to decide whether old folks like me should live based on our productivity in society. That’s when I decided I would be an unproductive grandma and just wait it out.”
When the health care exchange opened at midnight on Tuesday, October 1, Little signed up for her first—and hopefully last—death panel. Although she admitted that the process could take months, Little is confident that she meets the requirements to have her life terminated by Obamacare.
Little is not the only one anxious to be buried by the new health care laws. The US Department of Health and Human Services reported that five percent of the 8.6 million Americans to visit the new HealthCare.gov website last week sought more information about death panels.
One of those visitors was Ryan Rupe, a 16-year-old New Jersey high school student who is scheduled to undergo another round of emergency treatment for non-Hodgkins lymphoma, which his parents say could save his life. But Rupe said he is “fed up with practically living in hospitals,” and hopes that a death panel will deny him treatment.
“My mom and dad just don’t understand. They hate the [Affordable Care Act] because they’re afraid Obama’s doctors will tell me I’m not worth the treatment, but it shouldn’t be up to them. I want to cash in my Make-a-Wish wish and then knock the f–k out, like, forever.”
Rupe’s mother, Shauna, said that she’s aware of her son’s feelings and hopes that Democrats will “cave in and give up on Obamacare” before Ryan faces a death panel.
“We knew this day would come. We’ve prepared ourselves for it ever since Michelle Bachmann exposed the president’s plan to murder innocent children like Ryan. All we can do is hope his death panel doctors think he’s worthy of treatment.”
obviously some people are clueless that newslo is SATIRE
At 89, she is on government socialist Medicare and loving it..It is affordable and the best darn insurance seniors could muster…It shows how stupid people are..She is trying to get Obamacare…It is for people who have no access to healthcare.
You might mention that the real death panels are the insurance companies, who make their profits by DENYING health care!
I don’t know what’s worse the mouth breathers that believe in death panels or the idiots that don’t understand satire.
What scares me most is to see how many people in the United States that are so ignorant as to believe in “Death Panels” cause they did not go to The Library Of Congress & READ THE BILL !! Do they actually believe their Precious Little girl from Alaska who thinks she can SEE Russia from her front porch!!?? RIGHTTT!! Suggest you all follow the Yellow Brick Road & GET A BRAIN!!
I am delighted with the new Government death panels. Im reality they are life panels forcing hospitals and Clinics as well as Doctors to actually treat their patients. At least this has been my experience since it started, I never got such prompt care and service before.
I have had living will for years…there is no death panels…it is up to the individual what they want..I do not want to be kept alive by artificial means…no treatment but I will accept medication to keep me pain free and comfortable…I also gave my family the okay to put me in a nursing home if that is where I belong…A living will is not only for yourself by for your family as they do not have to make the choices!!! That is one good think George Bush did….he gave people free consultation on making living will..I know this with Palin is just a joke..but a living will is something everyone should think about!!!
Discussing news, must be propaganda from Obama. Inhumane ungodly words.
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