Superman, Batman to Play Star-Crossed Lovers in Warner Bros. Rom-Com

SAN DIEGO — In a revealing exclusive, America’s favorite superheroes are finally set to appear together on the big screen according to Zack Snyder, director of the most recent Superman film, Man of Steel. Snyder, speaking on behalf of Warner Bros. at Comic-Con, shed some light on the upcoming 2015 blockbuster for a group of unruly super-dorks.

“These two hunks – I’m sorry, men,” said Snyder, “will fight more than crime; they’ll fight loneliness. It’s only natural that as they grow older and more jaded, they seek companionship with someone who truly understands what it’s like to live a secret life. That’s how they find each other.”

The “light-hearted rom-com,” as Snyder described the project, will feel “more genuine” than the love-driven plots involving Lois Lane and Catwoman. “I want this to connect with the audience,” said Snyder, “albeit a very specific audience. But an audience nonetheless.”

While Snyder couldn’t share too many details, he did reveal that Superman would “wear the cape” in the relationship. “It’s technically a Man of Steel sequel, you know? So I think there’s really only one way to go about this,” said Snyder. “Superman [to be played by Ben Stiller] will assume the role of the quirky, down-on-his-luck protagonist, while Batman will play the dainty, hard-shelled debutante in need of an attitude change.”

“And underneath each of those incredibly tight, muscle-accentuating costumes…” said Snyder, before losing track of the conversation. “Man, they really look good in those superhero outfits. Mm-mm-mm. Where was I again? Oh, right. What I was saying is that underneath each of those costumes is a heart looking for love. So why not explore that in a cutesy, down-to-earth sort of way?”

Despite his optimism, Snyderknown for directing hard-edged and violent movies — understands that the project will likely instill seeds of doubt in moviegoers’ minds. “Sure, I may have never filmed a rom-com before – Let alone one about, you know, gay superheroes,” said the director in a deliberate, sensual manner before going on the defensive. “But I know damn well I’m ready to film these guys going at it, whether it’s at Wayne Manor, or on Krypton, or inside a coffee shop.”

Warner Bros. must share the same optimism, as it is willing to let the superhero cash-cow franchise, which has grossed upward of $650 million to date, head down a road less traveled.

“If rom-com doesn’t work we can always go back to the mindless, building-go-blowie shit,” said Snyder. “But for now, I think people are ready for a gay superhero love story.”

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