2012 Election Archives

Media

American Heart Association Anticipating Matt Drudge Heart Attack On Election Day

DALLAS, Texas — In an unprecedented act of charity, the American Heart Association has decided to put a team of paramedics on standby outside of Matt Drudge’s house on election…

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Undecided Voter Goes With Obama after Scarlett Johansson Endorsement 2

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1 min

Politics

Undecided Voter Goes With Obama after Scarlett Johansson Endorsement

DES MOINES, Iowa – Iowa factory worker Jonathan Flagler, 30, has decided to cast his vote for Barack Obama after actress Scarlett Johansson vocally endorsed the incumbent president. Flagler had…

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Leaked Obama Video: "I didn't know America took 'Yes We Can!' so literally" 3

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2 min

Politics

Leaked Obama Video: “I didn’t know America took ‘Yes We Can!’ so literally”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretly-recorded video footage of President Obama was leaked on Friday morning, revealing the shocking truth behind the infamous “Yes We Can” and “Hope” mantras of his historic…

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Mitt Romney Does “The Vagina Monologues” in Desperate Attempt to Court Female Vote 4

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3 min

Politics

Mitt Romney Does “The Vagina Monologues” in Desperate Attempt to Court Female Vote

CLEVELAND — In an effort to appeal to women voters, many of whom have identified Mitt Romney as “chauvinistic,” “cold,” and “sterility inducing,” the GOP presidential hopeful plans to perform…

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