Andy Purman’s Pity Party

Dear Pity Party, There is blood everywhere! He was just putting the star on the Christmas tree, oh sweet Jesus! I thought the safety was off! Don’t call the police! Shotgun Jane Janet, Before I begin addressing your concerns, I should note that I send and receive e-mail non-electronically. At the moment, I cannot afford Internet services – or even electricity, for…

Andy Purman’s Pity Party: Black Sunday?

Dear Pity Party, I had a total brain fart and thought Black Friday was on a Sunday this year. I know about Cyber Monday, but Internet shopping doesn’t allow me to strike down competing shoppers with malice and fury, which is really the whole selling point. Is there some way to virtually trample a stranger while still getting a great deal on…