37th Obamacare Vote Does the Trick

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WASHINGTON — After the House of Representatives voted for the 37th time to repeal the Affordable Care Act, President Barack Obama relented today, announcing to the American people that he will sign an executive order directing all federal agencies to ignore the groundbreaking legislation. Although Obamacare has been the cornerstone of his presidency thus far, Obama explained at a joint press conference…

GOP Blames Obama for Their Inability to Locate Benghazi on a Map

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WASHINGTON — Republicans took the Senate floor today to blast the Obama administration, charging that President Barack Obama knowingly and with malice chose a confusing location as the site of the Benghazi embassy scandal. “He could have had his scandal in some place decent, like Paris or London, but instead he chose a place on the map that’s really, really difficult for…

Obama’s Budget Plan Offers Bipartisan Disappointment to All

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WASHINGTON — The Obama Administration released the details of its 2014 budget plan this Wednesday, in what appeared to be an effort to gain absolutely nobody’s support. The Obama budget plan, released only weeks after Congress had finalized its own budget proposals, is very carefully architected to inspire equal amounts of disappointment and consternation in both liberals and conservatives. Obama himself has…

Tea Party Groups Prepare for Inauguration of President Romney

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WASHINGTON — Representatives from Tea Party Patriots, Tea Party Express, and The Nationwide Tea Party Coalition have gathered in the heart of the Texas Panhandle to prepare for the festivities surrounding the inauguration of Republican Mitt Romney as President of the United States on Monday, January 21, despite numerous reports that Romney was not, in fact, elected. “It’s like a dream come…

Obama and Boehner Bond in Crying Jag

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WASHINGTON — When President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner met for the first time since the President won re-election, the two long-time foes found something to bond over – their public display of tears! Boehner is famous for crying when he became Speaker of the House and on several occasions since.  Obama recently wiped away tears speaking at an…

Sarah Palin’s Dirty Secret: Did She Actually Vote for Barack Obama?

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WASILLA, Alaska — Rumors are surfacing that Sarah Palin is secretly ecstatic about President Obama’s reelection, since it opens up great businesses opportunities for her. Watching Sarah Palin is like watching a low budget horror movie. The script is terrible and the acting is terrible, but it’s got just the right amount of eeriness to scare you. Personally, America just can’t wait…

Obama Celebrates Victory Over Romney, Changes Name of Traditionally Red State to Allah-Bama

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MOBILE, Ala. — In a surprising victory speech, President Barack Obama decided to kick Republicans where it hurts.  In a nod to his Islamist supporters in Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood, Barack Obama declared his intention to change the name of red state “Alabama” – a state he did not win – to “Allah-‘Bama,” thus combining the names of the Muslim diety and his…