“One more liberal justice,” he repeated, shaking his head in horror. “Just one more liberal Supreme Court justice and freedom dies.”
You might ask: What’s next? Socialist concentration camps? Martial law? Expanded Medicaid benefits? The answer is much worse than you thought: All of the above! Right now! Run!
“Why don’t we just have the Good Humor man have contraception on the ice cream truck?” O’Reilly wondered.
NEW YORK — O’Reilly Factor producer Jay Richards revealed today the unlikely cause behind Bill O’Reilly’s explosive on-screen rage: the boisterous host is not actually the hair-trigger conservative blow-hard he seems to be, but for the entirety of the show’s run, the caps-lock on the studio teleprompter has been left on. “This explains so much,” said journalism legend Bill Moyers in a…
WASHINGTON — The FBI has recently announced a manhunt in an effort to track down balanced investigative journalism. Journalism was last seen fraternizing with Fox, CNN, and ABC in 1998, but has not been heard from since. Rumors abounded that Journalism was at MSNBC and Fox News, but a cursory investigation revealed that it was in fact only an imposter. The FBI…