“As a man of color myself,” said Boehner as he sopped his tears with a white monogrammed tissue that accentuated his bright orange hue, “it was as if the president were talking directly to me.”

“[We] have no issue with gay people,” Boehner claimed. “We have a problem with people who support gay marriage or want gays to be able to serve in the military.”
John Boehner stars as Miley Cyrus….