Chris Christie: “The Conclusion of ‘Jersey Shore’ Marks the Return of Our State’s Integrity”

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NEWARK, N.J. — Yesterday, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie delivered a brief speech to the press declaring that the conclusion of MTV’s hit television program “Jersey Shore” would restore the state’s status as “the most respected in the Union.” The program, which chronicles the personal relationships of eight caricatures of Italian-American youth culture, has plagued New Jersey’s once esteemed reputation for high…

Wall St. To Democrats: “Stop Treating Me Like Your Sidepiece”

NEW YORK — Leaked late-night text messages from Wall St. to the Democratic National Committee have revealed Wall St.’s growing discontent towards liberals’ treatment of the financial community as an “ugly mistress.” The text messages point to the Democrats’ constant condemnation of Wall St., but also expose the behind-closed-doors love affair taking place out of sight of Main Street, the Democrats’ longtime…