CNN Archives - NewsLo

Politics

Rick Perry Indicted for Forging Eyeglass Prescription, Extreme Nearsightedness

A Travis County board of optometrists found that, while the Republican governor’s political maneuverings may have been extremely shortsighted, his vision is at least 20-20, if not 20-16.

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Seeking to Repair Its Image, Malaysia Airlines Becomes ‘Hindenburg Skyways’ 2

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2 min

Seeking to Repair Its Image, Malaysia Airlines Becomes ‘Hindenburg Skyways’

“Yes, but at least we know what happened to that one. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, CNN isn’t giving the Hindenburg 24-hour coverage anymore.”

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CNN’s Martin Savidge Sent to Raft in Middle of Indian Ocean to Cover Missing Flight MH370 3

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1 min

CNN’s Martin Savidge Sent to Raft in Middle of Indian Ocean to Cover Missing Flight MH370

“Which is one reason why we’re putting him on a raft and sending him out to sea.”

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Rep. Grimm: My Federal Indictment Will Help Me Relate to My Constituents 4

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2 min

Rep. Grimm: My Federal Indictment Will Help Me Relate to My Constituents

I know, I know. You’ve seen the headlines. You know I’m in a bit of a pickle over here.

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CNN Goes Full Throttle Speculating It Is ‘Most Trusted Name in Speculation’ 5

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2 min

Media

CNN Goes Full Throttle Speculating It Is ‘Most Trusted Name in Speculation’

He reminds viewers to “Check local listings for airtimes of upcoming specials. Or, better yet, don’t look it up. Just trust us.”

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2 min

Media

CNN Special Report: ‘We’re Fuc*ed’

“CNN Special Report: We’re Fuc*ed,” aired in primetime last night, a slot chosen to “spread the message far and wide,” according to Jeff Zucker, president of CNN Worldwide.

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Maryland KKK Hold Meeting in State Capitol to Plan Obama's Removal 7

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2 min

Maryland KKK Hold Meeting in State Capitol to Plan Obama’s Removal

“You don’t have to hate someone to see their skin is the wrong color and to then take steps to round them up at gunpoint and kick them out of the country,” he said. “You just need to view them as less than human.”

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CNN Rebranded as 'CNN Jr.', News for People with Limited Attention Spans 8

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2 min

CNN Rebranded as ‘CNN Jr.’, News for People with Limited Attention Spans

“Reliable Sources” will be replaced with “I Think I Read Something on Twitter…,” Candy Crowley will host “Schizophrenic States,” and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” will cohost “The Situation Room” with Blitzer.

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