Coca-Cola to Begin Putting Cocaine in Drinks to Fight Obesity

ATLANTA — Just days after rolling out a new anti-obesity media campaign, Coca-Cola Co. has announced the next step in their fight against obesity: starting this spring, Coca-Cola will return to putting cocaine in all of its soft drinks. Coca-Cola is already running two-minute spots during television’s highest rated shows and plans on running three 30-second spots during the Super Bowl. The…

“Times are Tough” Says Man Speaking to $20,000-a-Plate Crowd

ATLANTA — The nation’s crippling economic downturn has ushered in unprecedented levels of unemployment, home foreclosure, and bankruptcy. No one understands the pain of average Americans struggling with hunger, joblessness, and underemployment better than the $20,000-a-plate crowd that packed the Atlanta Sheraton ballroom on Sunday night to hear Democratic Senator John Barrow speak. “Times are tough,” said Barrow to the besieged elites…