Zombie Dick Cheney Target Practice Dummy Accused of Being Too Realistic

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POWAY, Calif. – Zombie Industries, a company that gained notoriety last week for displaying a target practice dummy closely resembling President Barack Obama at their NRA convention booth, is under fire yet again. This time, the target of public outrage is their recently released “Lawyer” model, which many say closely resembles former Vice President Dick Cheney. “The concern is not a moral one, but a practical one,”…

Study Concludes U.S. Engaged in Torture, Pugs Adorable, Rain Wet

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WASHINGTON — A nonpartisan study by The Constitution Project, a nonpartisan think tank in Washington, has concluded that following the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, the United States practiced torture. The study also found that the breed of dog known as the pug is ridiculously cute, that most children prefer the taste of chocolate to cauliflower, and that the Sun rises in…

The World According to Dick Cheney’s Old Heart

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Like many of you, I was looking forward to The World According to Dick Cheney when it premiered on Friday night.  In fact, I even celebrated by fixing myself a Dick Cheney (that’s half light, sweet crude/half bile).  But when I heard him say “I have no regrets” in the film, I was wishing I could say the same thing. Don’t get…