Nation Rushes to Party before Legal DUI Limit Lowered

DRUNK DRIVING 1 4

LOS ANGELES — Gadflies, college students and champion buzzed drivers nationwide scrambled this month to get in some last-minute partying after the National Transportation Safety Board voted to recommend lowering the legal blood-alcohol content from .08 to .05. Stores reported runs on beer and boxed wine, and the number of cars-for-sale ads on Craigslist immediately tripled. “This recommendation is ludicrous,” Sarah Longwell,…

Celebrities Lobby Congress for Drunk Driving Immunity

drunk driving 2

LOS ANGELES – In a press release today, the Screen Actors Guild announced it has hired a team of lobbyists to protect the tradition of celebrity impunity from drunk driving laws. Counsel for SAG has reportedly filed a lawsuit against the state of California, in which the sobriety-challenged celebrities outline a list of perceived infringements on their God-ordained status as elite human…