Dick Cheney Excited to Celebrate Razorblade and Apple Day

JACKSON, Wyo. — Those children daring enough to climb the twisted staircase leading up to Dick Cheney’s gothic stone castle will be sorely disappointed. Do not let the gothic mansion fool you: Cheney does not celebrate Halloween anymore. He just lives there. Fearing a 37th heart attack, the former Vice President has changed his outlook on Halloween. He now believes the Holiday…

Obama Invites Cheney Over to “Play With Bush’s Toys”

obama-cheney-playdate

WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Dick Cheney paid a visit to the White House on Wednesday afternoon for what was originally believed to be a meeting concerning the decommissioning of unmanned aerial vehicles, but is now being described by reporters as a “play-date.” According to White House officials, Mr. Cheney has called persistently since the president took office, imploring Mr. Obama to…