Fox rep: “We’ll be starting off a petition in the next few days to confiscate all of Bruce’s sports medals”
Hasselbeck concluded the segment by urging viewers to take up arms against Pancho Villa.
“Who knows,” she added, “one of those leering men might even offer you a paid job one day. Like on television. Totally could happen.”
“You know, those people can kill you with just their thumb. People talk about wanting to register gun owners, what about registering all these massive black men?”
“Don’t talk too much,” Doocy recommended. “Know when to just shut it and let your curves do the talking.”
Host Harris Faulkner replied, “They set these schedules years ago. It’s not like they lined it up with current events of the world.”
The rest of Bachmann’s comment could not be heard because Cavuto cut off the Congresswoman’s microphone.
“But then Obama went ahead and invaded anyway, and here we are,” he added.
“Going forward, I promise that we will maintain the same level of journalistic integrity, objectivity, and high quality, non-sensationalized, factually sound news that you have all come to love so much.”
“Are you out of razors?” Kilmeade asked as the shot changed to the infamous video of Robertson delivering a homophobic sermon.
You might ask: What’s next? Socialist concentration camps? Martial law? Expanded Medicaid benefits? The answer is much worse than you thought: All of the above! Right now! Run!
The research, funded by the Fox News Partnership for a Post-Feminist Society, offers great promise in the race to cure the nation’s “wimps, wussies, metrosexuals, and latte-sipping progressives” of their dangerous weaknesses.
After the fallout from her interview, Van Sustern was called in to Ailes’ office. She then opened her next show with a lengthy segment explaining how Obamacare forces children to kill their puppies.
“Yes, that’s a good point, except that, you know, women live longer,” Samadi asserted. “Women live until age 81 and men live only until 76. So, we’re using the health care system much less.”
WASHINGTON – Multiple programs on Fox News have been questioning the coverage of the anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr’s “I Have a Dream Speech” this month, with Bill O’Reilly notably asking “what all the fuss was about.” On “Fox and Friends,” Steve Doocy referred to Dr. King as a “controversial rabble rouser,” and said that the speech would “surely go down…
“George knows better than anyone what it’s it like to be persecuted and oppressed by politically-correct minorities,” the elder Zimmerman said. “We think he’ll do nicely alongside such luminaries as Sean Hannity and Steve Doocy.”
“When political correctness takes over the beer advertising industry, the terrorists have won,” said Watters, who is better known for his job as a producer on Bill O’Reilly’s Fox News show. “I mean, this is absolutely outrageous!”
Fox News analyst Brit Hume said Monday that the Republican Party’s tepid embrace of immigration reform is part of a “baloney” political strategy to curry favor with Latinos, who Hume said are unimportant to future presidential elections, hence…
Fox Business host: Cut government because ‘no one’ died of starvation before welfare (via Raw Story )
Fox Business host John Stossel on Thursday declared that government programs should be cut based on the false assertion that “no one” died of starvation in the Great Depression before the modern “welfare state.” Stossel told the hosts of Fox & Friends that he had taken his cameras out on the…
NEW YORK — Fox News hosts today openly lamented the network’s hiring of one-term Congressman and tea party favorite Allen West to be an on-air contributor, expressing concerns that it endangered the network’s reputation as a source for “fair and balanced” news and information. “Quite frankly, I don’t see how this does anything but allow people to question our integrity,” said Fox…
NEW YORK — Declaring that they “really mean it this time,” NBC announced this month that Jay Leno will be retiring as host of “The Tonight Show” in the spring of next year. In the same breath, however, the struggling network weakened its credibility by saying Jimmy Fallon would fill Leno’s spot as host. Saying they “understand that everyone is a little…
NEW YORK — Amidst a boycott of Fox News, members of the so-called Tea Party movement have unwittingly discovered the deep and life-fulfilling pleasure of reading the world’s great literature. For three days, Tea Party activists turned away from the network in order to send a message to its CEO Roger Ailes, warning him that there would be consequences for what they…
NEW YORK — With Fox News’ ratings slipping and Hispanics making up an ever-increasing percentage of the American population, Fox News Channel President Roger Ailes has announced that his network will take the bold step of never broadcasting its anti-Hispanic views in Spanish. “It’s not that we like these people,” said Ailes, “but they do watch television. So, if I need to…
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — In a stunning announcement today, former Half-Term Alaskan Governor and Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin informed Anchorage resident Walter Gibbons that the Spicy Chicken Go Wrap he had ordered would be slightly delayed because of Obamacare and Palin’s need to restock the cheddar cheese. “She was pretty upset to find the cheddar cheese bin empty,” said Gibbons. “One moment…