O’Reilly Factor Producer Realizes Teleprompter Caps-Lock Has Been on for Years

NEW YORK — O’Reilly Factor producer Jay Richards revealed today the unlikely cause behind Bill O’Reilly’s explosive on-screen rage: the boisterous host is not actually the hair-trigger conservative blow-hard he seems to be, but for the entirety of the show’s run, the caps-lock on the studio teleprompter has been left on. “This explains so much,” said journalism legend Bill Moyers in a…

Dick Morris Sues Fox News for Letting Him Make Election Predictions

dick-morris

NEW YORK — Dick Morris, the Fox News analyst who has received widespread ridicule for his recent – and extremely wrong – prediction that Mitt Romney would win the recent presidential election “in a landslide,” accumulating well over 300 Electoral College votes, has sued the network for employing him as an analyst. “By giving me air-time, they’ve completely ruined my credibility,” Morris…

Sarah Palin’s Dirty Secret: Did She Actually Vote for Barack Obama?

WASILLA, Alaska — Rumors are surfacing that Sarah Palin is secretly ecstatic about President Obama’s reelection, since it opens up great businesses opportunities for her. Watching Sarah Palin is like watching a low budget horror movie. The script is terrible and the acting is terrible, but it’s got just the right amount of eeriness to scare you. Personally, America just can’t wait…

Fox News Unveils Brand New Reality Show Lineup

NEW YORK – Fox News, the enormously successful organization best known for its “Fair and Balanced” approach and record setting ratings, has announced that all of its popular news programming will soon be replaced by new reality shows. When asked why a thriving organization would make such a surprising decision, President Roger Ailes told reporters, “Look, we have conquered the mountain that…

CNN to Outsource News to India

NEW YORK — In an effort to cut costs as well as fend competition from rivals MSNBC and Fox News, the Cable News Network (CNN) has begun outsourcing its news to India. Time Warner executives claim that local Indian broadcast stations are willing to produce compelling stories at a significantly lower cost than American outlets. CNN’s new initiative is projected to save…

Palin, Bachmann Announce New Reality Show, ‘Riding Lady Liberty’

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Former Vice Presidential candidate and human caricature of misinformation Sarah Palin has confirmed the completion of a new reality show in which she travels across the heart of the United States with Representative Michele Bachmann, who takes on the roles of foolhardy sidekick and quirky racist. The program, which will air on FOX this October, will be named “Riding…