As a peace offering, President Obama offered BP first dibs on the Keystone XL pipeline and gave the company permission to “get [its] frack on.”
A representative of Markwest Energy confirmed that the three companies would share the cost of hiring a team of qualified professionals to maintain a 24-hour audio surveillance on the two children, adding that while the job may seem boring now, he imagined it would garner a lot of interest when the two children reached puberty.