GOP in Tears Over Obama, Feels ‘Used’ and ‘Trashy’

WASHINGTON — An inconsolable Republican Party wept openly today after having its heart ripped to shreds by President Barack Obama. The political party, most recently seen finding comfort in the arms of austerity, claimed Obama promised them the moon as he wined and dined them at the Jefferson Hotel on March 6, but has been less-than-attentive since. “He was so sweet and…