Five Injured at Gun Appreciation Day Event; Appreciation Increases Dramatically

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RALEIGH, N.C. — Five people were accidentally shot at Gun Appreciation Day rallies this Saturday in North Carolina, Indiana, and Ohio while participating in events promoting their Second Amendment right to own guns. These events, marketed by the right-wing group Political Media as a way of bringing attention to responsible gun ownership, were wildly successful, especially in the states where accidents occurred. “Did…

NRA Apologizes for Ad Targeting Obama’s Daughters, Releases Ad Targeting Handicapped Students

FAIRFAX, Va. — After withdrawing a widely condemned attack ad calling President Obama an “elitist hypocrite” for allowing his daughters to be protected by armed guards, the National Rifle Association has released an ad criticizing the “special treatment” received by students with disabilities. In a press statement, Wayne LaPierre, Vice President of the NRA, admitted that the original advertisement was “at best,…

Aurora Movie Theatre: Have a Bang-Up Time at Reopening

AURORA, Col. – To celebrate the reopening of the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, where last year, 12 people were slaughtered and 58 others injured in a devastating massacre, owners of the theater complex, this week, sent free tickets for the happy event to all massacre survivors. When survivors responded with outrage and disgust, Aurora theater managers resolved to work a…