Dick Cheney Excited to Celebrate Razorblade and Apple Day

JACKSON, Wyo. — Those children daring enough to climb the twisted staircase leading up to Dick Cheney’s gothic stone castle will be sorely disappointed. Do not let the gothic mansion fool you: Cheney does not celebrate Halloween anymore. He just lives there. Fearing a 37th heart attack, the former Vice President has changed his outlook on Halloween. He now believes the Holiday…

Sexy Frank Luntz Costume Dominates GOP Halloween Sales

NEW YORK— Since the Presidential elections are just around the corner, this Halloween promises to be even stranger than usual. Stores have reported an increasing growth in the sales of political costumes. Frank Luntz, Republican political consultant and strategist, is rapidly becoming the most popular costume of the year. Young people everywhere are rushing out to buy pounds of white makeup to…