HISTORICAL INACCURACY: Gandhi’s Salt March Actually Quest for Perfect Cheeseburger

HISTORY— Mahatma “Hot Foot” Gandhi admitted in a recent post-mortem autobiography that his infamous Salt March initially began as the quest for the perfect cheeseburger. “You’d think cows be sacred up in that bitch,” he rants, referring to British-ruled India in the 1930’s. The self-published vanity novelty entitled “How to Have Sex with a Raw Steak” depicts a much different scenario than…

CNN to Outsource News to India

NEW YORK — In an effort to cut costs as well as fend competition from rivals MSNBC and Fox News, the Cable News Network (CNN) has begun outsourcing its news to India. Time Warner executives claim that local Indian broadcast stations are willing to produce compelling stories at a significantly lower cost than American outlets. CNN’s new initiative is projected to save…